pinkfeet photography

life is sweet....

2011-01-13T17:23:00.000-08:00

i've been thinking about changing my blog. seeing as how there hasn't been a lot of "photography" on pinkfeet photography lately... i've been focusing more on every day life. on crafts. on art. on re-decorating my house. on baking more. on laughing more. on "living". so, i am saying good-bye to "pinkfeet photography" and saying hello to "life is sweet with 2 pink feet"... (but don't think i am hanging up my canon!! there will be tons of pictures still!!!)

so please, check out my new blog! http://2pinkfeet.blogspot.com/

stay tuned.

2010-12-31T13:53:00.001-08:00

new year. new blog. stay tuned!!!

my sunshine is six.

2010-12-01T01:18:00.000-08:00

to my sunshine,

im sitting here writing to you and its officially your birthday. you are sound asleep in your bed, right along with pink puppy dog, your ni-nights and red bear. your flashlight is lost somewhere in all those blankets i bet. i love that you still have to sleep with all of those every night. i love so many things about you punks, and i am sure i don't tell you nearly enough... so tonight, (well, technically early morning) i am going to write down every last thing I can remember...

i love your flair for drama. you come by that honestly. you want to be a show stopper, and believe me, you are.

i love that when you really try to sing, you can hear the love for music in your voice. like bebe and gigi said, you are way better at your age than i was! you keep singing your lil' heart out, don't ever let anyone tell you to stop!

i love that you are an "artist". you could sit and color for hours. you make fantastic creations out of paper, scissors and some glue.

i love the way you say "australia" and "souplantation".

i love that you ask me to sing "our song" to you every night. and i love how you make sure i sing all verses.

i love that you know who the beatles and elvis were.

i love your thirst for knowledge. you are constantly learning, asking questions, reading books. you know things that absolutely amaze me.

i love that you are an awesome big sissy. you two may have your moments, but they are few and far between. the bond between you and the "curly headed one" is so special and strong, you two will be each others best friends for life. i feel bad for whoever stands in the way of what you two want!!!
i love your humor. you tell the funniest jokes, and even if they sometimes don't make sense, your laughter is contagious.

i love your heart. i love that you want to take care of everyone. be friends with everyone. help everyone. you are going to touch so many peoples lives.

i love that you call me "mama". being your mama is one of my biggest accomplishments. i look at you and am in awe of all that you are.

its hard to believe that 6 years have flown by, and man have they flown by. it seems like yesterday dada and i brought home this little 9 lb baby girl who squeaked when she took a breath. it seems like yesterday when you said "mama" for the first time. it seems like yesterday you were sitting on the hardwood floor, playing drums on the pots and pans. so many yesterday's my sunshine.... but what a bright future you have. i wish i could keep you my little girl forever. nobody warned me about this part. how my heart can break and swell at the same time. while i can't wait to see what tomorrow brings, i am sad i can't remember every day i have shared with you. i guess that is why we must live every day to the fullest punks... because every day with you, and sissy, and dada is an adventure and i am so blessed to be on this crazy ride.

i love you to pieces. you are my sunshine.

happy 6th birthday!!!

thankful.

2010-11-25T22:00:00.000-08:00

thanksgiving has never been a huge holiday for me. its always been the "holiday" that just so happens to fall between halloween and Christmas. but this year, i vowed to change that. i mean, why skip a holiday when all its asking you to do is "be thankful"??? for that matter, why does it only have to be ONE day? so, my family has decided to make it a month long process. we started a thanksgiving tree this year. every night, one of us would write something we are thankful for and put it on the tree.... there were times when it was hilarious, especially trying to teach a 3 year old what the word "thankful means". all in all, i think this is a tradition that is going to last a long time!!!!

November 1 - Aubrey is thankful for..... God
November 2 - Ava is thankful for.....Asia, Africa, North & South America, Australia, Antarctica, & Europe
November 3 - Dada is thankful for..... our family
November 4 - Mama is thankful for..... little girl giggles
November 5 - Aubrey is thankful for..... my family
November 6 - Ava is thankful for.....foofy
November 7 - Dada is thankful for.....camping
November 8 - Mama is thankful for.....bedtime stories
November 9 - Aubrey is thankful for.....pink puppy & red bear
November 10 - Ava is thankful for.....mama, dada & sissy
November 11 - Dada is thankful for.....our girls health
November 12 - Mama is thankful for.....Bebe & Papa
November 13 - Aubrey is thankful for.....going out to dinner with Shayna
November 14 - Ava is thankful for.....Miss Jennifer & Miss Angelica
November 15 - Dada is thankful for.....being able to take the girls to school each morning
November 16 - Mama is thankful for..... our cozy home
November 17 - Aubrey is thankful for.....The Girl Scouts
November 18 - Ava is thankful for..... Bebe & Papa
November 19 - Dada is thankful for.....Saturdays off, spending time with his family
November 20 - Mama is thankful for.....Aubrey Grace & Ava Jo
November 21 - Aubrey is thankful for.....mama singing to her
November 22 - Ava is thankful for Woody, Buzz, Jessie & Sarge
November 23 - Dad is thankful for.....heaters
November 24 - Mama is thankful for.....Doyle coming home safely, deployment after deployment.

Hope you all have had a GREAT Turkey day!!!!

punk rock family.

2010-05-11T15:59:00.000-07:00

this family is awesome! i mean, i always knew elissa was awesome, so of course her hubby and daughter had to be just as awesome, right? but if you can believe it, those two people and that little baby blu growing inside elissa made her even more awesome than i remembered. you see, elissa and i went to high school together... she was always uber cool and i was the geek in the corner. it wasnt until the rad invention of facebook that we started chatting, a lot! turns out, she can rock a camera too!!! i was so honored when she accepted my offer to let me capture her family and her during this amazing time in their lives!

elissa & joey... being parents of two girls is amazing. the joy that it brings is something that i can't even put into words (and you guys know that i am never at a loss for words) i pray that your two girls bring you all the happiness that my two girls have brought me.

sophia...you are gonna ROCK as a big sister!!! make sure you teach your sister to laugh, i am sure with all your silliness that won't be a problem!!!

one year.

2010-04-24T07:10:00.000-07:00

when i woke up this morning, i had a huge lump in my throat. i knew, without even looking on the calendar what day it was. its been a year since my uncle passed away. i still have trouble dealing with the pain of that day. i think i still have a lot of that pain locked down deep inside of me, and every once in a while a little bit comes out. i would like to think that i have learned to enjoy life more because of that day. because i know that we are not promised tomorrow. i have seen how quickly life can pass. we need to live in the moment. savor every minute.

i find traces of my uncle in my every day life. i find myself starring at the beauty of hawks in the sky. i tell the girls all about hawks, and we lay in the grass and stare up at the sky. papa likes to show the girls the hawks that fly around his house. i think he feels the same connection to the birds that i do, and we want the girls to see that beauty too.

i see a ford bronco and i smile. i can still see my uncle crawling out from under the newest bronco he acquired. the duct taped cowboy boots, the greasy hands... the big smile on his face.

when i hear cowboy boots clicking on the floor, i can picture my uncle, standing in the kitchen at my moms house. straw cowboy hat, flannel shirt, levi 501's and his black cowboy boots.

and its amazing how when there is a song that reminds you of someone, you hear it more often... this is that song.

there isn't a day goes by that I don't remember what happened today, one year ago. i doubt i ever will.

i love you uncle david, and i miss you.

spring forward

2010-03-17T14:38:00.000-07:00

this has been a rough winter. and by "rough", i mean up to our ears in snot filled kleenex, fevers so high we see butterflies, a cough that can rattle your chest, even if you aren't the one coughing.... 4 rounds of bronchitis, 2 rounds of pneumonia, various other viral/bacterial infections later we say "hasta la vista winter"

i am a total winter girl. i love everything about it. the chill in the air, the gray days, the nights watching movies in front of a fire, but i am sick to death of the sickies that have over taken our house. they have robbed me of my "winter". curse you germs.

i use to dread daylight savings. i didn't like the sun to be out so late. but this year, i welcome it. i welcome spring. my family needs spring. we need to get over this gunk that winter has given us. so, to celebrate spring, i took my "healthy" family out for a quick photoshoot at bebe & papa's house. in 20 minutes, we got some pretty cute pics, lots of laughs, a few sprained muscles, and lots of sticky kisses (thanks to see's lollipops)

btw, the next day the "healthy" 5 year old woke up with 102.7 fever, screaming her throat hurts... double ear infection and some sort of infection in her throat. well, i guess its not really the "first day of spring" yet...

three.

2010-01-09T07:06:00.000-08:00

Three years ago, I was wearing my favorite black maternity capris, a black shirt with a BIG skull on the front and some black wedge sandals. I was at work. Waddeling from my desk to the copy machine and back to my desk. It was a normal day, Kenny dropped off my extra big gulp diet coke (because with this pregnancy, I swore I could taste the metal in a can of coke, I could ONLY drink fountain sodas), I had eaten something for breakfast (not a lot because I knew I was going to have to step on the scale) and was having our daily briefing with the girls at the office. 10:30 am rolls around and it was time for me to head to my normal weekly check up. "See you guys in a bit" is what I told the office.

WRONG. I went to the doctor. My doctor decides to break it to me gently "how fast can you get to the hospital?" and I look at him a wee bit perplexed! "You are in labor, you are 5 centimeters" Um, ok.... I thought I was just having a reaction to the spicy food I ate all weekend. Imagine Kenny's surprise when I call him at work and tell him to meet me at the house, we are having a baby today.

We went and checked into the hospital. I thought we were in for a long ride. We checked in at 1:30. I got an epidural about 4. It never took. I felt every contraction. They hurt. My mom and Kenny were cracking jokes while I was laying there, eyes closed, trying to remember any sort of breathing technique I had read about. At 5 pm, my doctor, dressed in a pink dress shirt with a pink tie came in and said "ok, lets have a baby" Literally 3 pushes later, at 5:16pm, while watching the Governor on TV giving his "State of the State" address, Ava Jo was born. 8 lbs 1 oz, 21 inches long. She was perfect. She squeaked when she was born. The doctors didn't like this squeak, so they wisked her and Kenny off to the NICU. I had no idea what was going on and it wasn't until way later that I learned they had intibated her to help her breathe. Finally at 10:30pm, they brought my pink little bundle of joy back into my room and put her in my arms. She looked just like her sissy did. That would be where their similarities ended! HA!

Oh my little Ava Jo. You are my little dare devil. My curly headed future Johnny Knoxville. You have made me earn every gray hair on my head and I love every minute of it. Your spirit inspires me. Your hair is my arch nemisis. Your smile melts my heart. I have been blessed with two amazing little girls. What more could a mama ask for???

Happy third birthday to my baby. I love you cupcake!

five.

2009-12-01T00:18:00.000-08:00

i remember it like it was yesterday. i was carrying my leopard print pillow up to labor and delivery, wearing my cute bright pink velour sweatsuit and just had my toes polished bright red... yes i know i could no longer see my toes, but in my mind, they were going to be one of the first things my daughter saw, so they had to be perfectly polished. i was being induced because my baby was "getting too big" and should have been around 7 lbs.

the first IV went in my arm about 8:30. this wasn't so bad. the pitocin was kicked up a few notches about 10:30. hmmmm, a little bit uncomfy. the nice nurse came in and asked me if i wanted an epidural. WHA? i can have one of those things now? even though i'm not in THAT much pain? SURE.... sign me up! i don't really remember much about the rest of the time, except for my legs being UBER numb and the dude that gave me the epidural telling me that I probably shouldn't be watching ER reruns (as they were stapling a guy's head closed) perhaps he was right, but who cares, i was in la la land!

it hit 5 pm, then the fun began. there was shift change. my very nice drug friendly nurse was replaced by nurse crachet who proceeded to turn OFF my epidural so "i could feel" everything. literally those were her words, but she could have been speaking russian as far as I was concerned because that statement literally made NO sense to me! why would they turn off this miracle juice?

after 2 fun filled hours of hard pushing, my 7 lb baby turned out to be a 9 lbs 1 ounce, perfect pink bundle of joy. she was the perfect baby. from her beautiful nose, to her pudgy little fingers, she was perfect. she slept through the night from the day we brought her home. by 3 weeks, she was holding her head up. yes, i like to call her my lil' over achiever. she has brought me so much joy in my life. i honestly don't know what we use to do without her in our lives... all i know is life must have been VERY boring.

my little punk turns 5 today... we will be celebrating at the happiest place on earth... and i for one, couldn't be any happier.

i love you aubrey grace. you are my sunshine.

happy birthday pop.

2009-10-29T04:00:00.000-07:00

this year has taught me a lot of things... mainly it has taught me that we aren't promised tomorrow, that today is a gift, which is why its called a present. don't worry Pop, this post isn't your gift :)

to the man who had to rush into the hospital room, barely having enough time to take his gun belt off to witness my "not so beautiful" birth..... happy birthday

to the man who i use to pry open his eyes, after he worked dawns and ask "are you in there" because I had no idea what "dawns" were..... happy birthday

to the man who used his hands as a makeshift cup to hold water while i rinsed my bloody mouth out after rounding third and eating dirt..... happy birthday

to the man who annoyingly sings "we're all in our places with sunshiney faces and this is the way we start a new day"..... happy birthday

to the man who would do the "buffalo stance" while driving my friends home from slumber parties.... happy birthday

to the man who taught me about charlie worms, salmon eggs, night crawlers, how to shove an ice pick in a frozen tuna heads eye so we could put it in a crab net..... happy birthday

to the man who i saw cry for the first time when he knew what he had to do by giving his brother his kidney.... happy birthday

to the man who danced with me to "somewhere over the rainbow" on my wedding day... happy birthday

to the man who i think was in more pain than i was waiting outside the room while i gave birth to his first granddaughter.... happy birthday

to the man who lights up every time he hears "hi papa".... happy birthday

to the man who is his granddaughters best friend..... happy birthday

to the man who i am SO proud to be his daughter.... happy birthday pop. i love you.

leaving on a jet plane.

2009-10-15T18:21:00.000-07:00

oh great. now i'm going to have that song stuck in my head! my hubby and i are heading out to catch a flight friday morning to visit our AMAZING friends the Salvino's, the Bickart's and the Nunnally's in O HI O. and the cherry on top, is when we all get to watch our STEELERS beat the CRUD out of their BROWNS.... what a fun day that will be!! so, if y'all would be so kind, could you offer up a little loving prayer to the big guy upstairs for a wee bit of traveling grace for us? we would greatly appreciate it!!!

facebook.

2009-09-13T22:10:00.000-07:00

i graduated in 1995. that was 14 years ago, although, it seems like yesterday... i lost touch with a lot of the people i graduated with, people whom i thought i would NEVER lose touch with, even though i still live in the same town. thanks to this wonderful little online forum facebook, i have been able to reconnect with so many people. i love hearing about what everyone is doing, what they have done and what they are going to do...

tonight however, our class is walking down an all too familiar road. one of our own has passed away. Robby was so special. i can still picture him, hanging with the guys, with his amazing smile and his genuine laugh... i will be honest, i haven't talked to him since we graduated, but thanks to facebook, i knew what he was up to,what he had done and knew that he had just gotten married 2 weeks ago. i looked at his wedding pictures online and there was that smile. infectious smile. i am absolutely heartbroken... heartbroken for our class, for his wife, for his family, for all that knew him and for all those who will never get to know what an amazing guy he was.

facebook is helping our class mourn, relive memories, and let each other know how much we still love each other. in the midst of this horrible tragedy, i find myself thankful for facebook.

to the class of 1995, i love you all.

first day of school.

2009-09-12T22:08:00.000-07:00

i knew the day was coming. we found the perfect outfit, a brand new tinkerbell backpack and the perfect princess lunch box. she was set. the only problem was, i wasn't. i did not want to let my baby go to kindergarten. i could not fathom the idea of not knowing her every move for 6 1/2 hours. would she be ok? would she eat all of her lunch? would she get along with everyone?

well, she proved to me that not only was she growing up, she also for a brief few moments, managed to show that she was still our little girl and take comfort in her daddy's arms... she let out one tear, just one, and then she was all smiles for the rest of the day... my little girl is a kindergartener. and i couldn't be more proud of her.

changes.

2009-09-11T23:01:00.000-07:00

you may see this blog go through some changes... i get bored kinda easy, and my poor blog is going to be my guinea pig.

the first tooth.

2009-08-09T01:13:00.000-07:00

aubrey grace has always been an overachiever. she was born 2 weeks early (thank GOD because she was 9 lbs 1 oz) she got her first tooth at 3 months, she knew her ABC's and could sing the song in tune before she could even walk, she has never been on a growth chart, always been taller than the rest, so it was no surprise to us that she would lose her first tooth at 4 1/2 years old. what was a surprise however, was how hard it was going to affect me.

my baby, my first born daughter is growing up. apparently whether i like it or not.

i am so proud of my growing daughter. she brings me such joy. the spirit inside of her amazes me. she is such a people person and genuinely cares for all around her. i love that she loves to sing on the top of her lungs. i love that she thinks she can speak "fish". i love that she has to sleep with her 2 "ni nights", pink puppy dog, red bear, blue bear, ellie and two flashlights, and if she doesn't have one of those, she won't sleep. i love that she wants to make me feel better. i love that she gets excited when we go shopping together. i love that she knows Jesus was a carpenter. i love that she now poses for me when i bring the camera out.

and, i love how much she loves her "sissy"

so much cooler online

2009-08-01T13:09:00.001-07:00

i am totally that brad paisley song "so much cooler online" in real life, i am a total dork. so, you can only imagine what it felt like when the butterflies in my stomach had turned to vultures circling while i waited for my friend to get off the plane... my friend whom i had "never met"

let me back up a smidge. when i was pregnant with ava, i joined a message board that was on parents.com. i met a bunch of wonderful chicks and we each helped each other immensely! from sharing stories of heartburn to swollen feet, to first kicks to people's reactions to the names we all picked out, we bonded throughout our 3 trimesters.... then i was invited to join a spin off board, and there is where i really got to know these girls. they are all amazing individuals, whom i have a lot to learn from. i have made some of the best friends in the world on this board, and i have never actually met them. and that.... pretty much brings you up to speed on how i met "abby"

abby is amazing. she is a 28 year old mother of 4!!! yup, i said it, mother of 4 (well, 5 if you include her husband, LOVE YOU SAL!!!!) She is lucky enough to be a stay at home mom, the high school principal's hot wife, and in her spare time (ha, like she has any) she runs an at home bakery business http://www.salvinodolci.com/ by the way, her cookies are TO DIE FOR!!!

she decided one day, that she was gonna take a trip out to beautiful so cal....i was nervous... i mean, we have talked online almost daily for over 2 years, but the thought of actually MEETING her brought out those vultures in my stomach...i am soooo much cooler online, did i really want her to meet the geek?? the moment she stepped off the plane, those vultures were gone. we are SO alike, that we were both wearing red, white and blue outfits (not tacky mind you, we were both rocking RED shoes)

it was a very short visit, but long enough for me to realize how lucky i am to have abby and her family in my life. and, i have come to find out that abby and i are pretty cool in real life too!!!

here are a few pictures i took of this rockin' 28 year old mother of 4!!!

on the wings of an eagle.

2009-06-20T07:54:00.000-07:00

this post has been a long time coming. i knew i needed to write something, but the words seemed to fail me. for the first time in my life, i was at a loss for words and i was at a loss of emotion. i didn't want to write something and not have it be well written and heartfelt. i was afraid i wouldn't do his memory justice. but today, its been 11 weeks... its time.

on April 24th, my life forever changed. i was blessed with watching my uncle take his last breath. i was blessed with being able to see peace wash over him. i was blessed to have him as my uncle.

my uncle had diabetes since he was a small child. its a horrible disease, but you would never have known that by talking with him. my entire life, i don't believe i ever heard him complain about it. he had good days, and bad days. i don't think it was until my father give my uncle his kidney that i witnessed and realized the severity of diabetes. the toll that disease took on my uncles body, and now my dads by giving his kidney, was heart breaking to see.

my uncle was an amazing guy, and i don't think i ever took the time to realize this. he always had a smile on his face, and was always laughing. actually, it was more of a raspy chuckle, and his shoulders would always go up and down when he did so. his laugh was contagious.

i hardly ever saw him without his cowboy hat. in a sea of people, i could pick him out no problem, because of his hat. i can remember at my wedding, standing up at the top of the stairs, looking at the crowd of people, and it was all a blur to me...until I saw that white hat.

he had a pair of cowboy boots that spoke more about him than anything else. to me, they were a symbol of my uncle. they were worn out. he wore them every day, and they were falling apart. but, instead of giving up and throwing them away, he duct taped them. he mended his boots together and worked hard in those boots. there is no better way to explain my uncle. he worked hard. he was worn out. he was held together by love. and it was with love that he was let go.

my uncle was also a falconer. i think he was most at peace when he was flying his hawks. i remember growing up, every time we saw a hawk, we would look to see if it was a red tail, or a peregrine falcon... and how we couldn't wait to tell uncle david about it. after he passed away, i searched the sky's for a hawk. i begged God to show me a hawk. somehow, seeing a hawk would have calmed my heart. but it seemed as if the hawks were hurting too... because i couldn't find one. after 3 weeks of looking up at the sky, searching... i saw him. he was a beautiful hawk circling above me. and at that moment, after 3 weeks of not being able to cry, not being able to feel any emotion, i felt peace. i cried. i mourned. i still do.

i miss him daily. as the holidays roll around, i realize things aren't the same. its almost surreal to me. i miss hearing the clicking on the hardwood floor from his boots. i miss hearing the "hi chey" when he would see me. i miss his infectious chuckle. i am sad that he won't be here to see my children grow up.

i like to think, that my uncle was taken up to heaven... on the wings of an eagle.

i love you uncle david.

hoppy easter.

2009-04-11T22:25:00.000-07:00

we tried to get a picture taken with the easter bunny. tried being the operative word. i thought it would be a piece of cake, after all, they both climbed up on santa's lap no problemo...

til we actually SAW the easter bunny. to them, apparently it was FRANK from DONNIE DARKO. they screamed, i bribed, they cried, i think i even shed a tear... we left the mall without a easter picture.

aubrey came up with the idea that i could TAKE their picture at home, and then show it to the easter bunny, because it would "kinda" be like the same thing. oh, the way her little manipulative mind works. she is my daughter...

so i set myself up to get them dressed in their easter dresses, and take their pictures... it was raining on the day we planned... then my sister in law sent these adorable hats. I knew they would be perfect. so out to the front porch we went, and they allowed me to take 6, count them 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 pictures of them. aren't they giving children???

the moral of the story is... taking pictures of your children is like trying to nail jello eggs to a wall...

hope you all have a hoppy easter.

lord help me.

2009-04-06T19:55:00.000-07:00

i always do this. always.

i go gung-ho on losing weight, hit a huge milestone, and then think "eh, i've done good.... i should reward myself with a cadbury egg...... or 12".

this time, once again, no different.

2 weeks ago, i hit the 25 lb mark. i have lost 25 lbs! i haven't been a size 10 since, well, i don't remember.

so, what do i do to celebrate? i let go. i let go off what i need to be doing. i let go of my healthy eating habits because hey, i've lost 25 lbs! no big deal to eat like a pig once in a while... and yet, 2 weeks later, i am still eating horrible. '

i need an intervention, because lord help me, the devil wants me fat. i need a switch kick in the britches before these new britches i bought no longer fit.

i am writing this out for accountability. its no big deal if i slip up a little in private, but making it public, that's HUGE. you all will know my triumphs, my failures, and be there when i pick myself up from a ice cream binge and hit the treadmill.

first position.

2009-03-02T21:19:00.001-08:00

my daughter has started dance class. a prima ballerina she is not. she has the grace of her mama, who i am embarassed to admit, has the grace of a water buffalo. but she looks darn cute in her tutu...

dear weight loss plateau,

2009-02-27T06:50:00.000-08:00

as dolph lundgren would say, "i will break you"

sincerely,
me

quarantined.

2009-01-30T18:28:00.001-08:00

that is what my house should be. there should be yellow caution tape all around it, a big red bio hazard sign on the front door, and people walking around in giant yellow hazmat suits... this week sucks. it started off on wednesday morning (around 12:30 am) with aubrey SCREAMING that she had thrown up in her bed... she was pitiful. so bad that she was throwing up out of her nose. she finally fell asleep around 3:30, woke up at 4 to throw up, back asleep, woke up at 4:30 to throw up.... a vicious cycle. finally, about 3 pm everything stopped and she seemed to be resting comfortably for the rest of the night. slept all night. i thought we were in the clear.

both aubrey and ava woke up thursday morning with horrible coughs. i mean horrible. they both sound like they have been smoking for 50+ years. and then of course, my throat started to hurt. and hurt worse, and worse.

now here it is, friday evening. aubrey is laying on the couch, still coughing her lungs up... if she doesnt seem any better by tomorrow, we may make a trip to the urgent care. Ava is a bit grumpy, but won't sit down and rest. she seems fine, til she starts hacking. and im sitting here, with a kleenex shoved up my nose because its so stuffy, but running at the same time. my throat is on fire and the side of my neck feels like i went 3 rounds with Randy Couture.

stay far away from our house. in fact, i would wash your hands with anti bacterial soap just because you are reading this... spray lysol all around your computer.

i hope you all stay well.

36 years.

2009-01-27T16:30:00.000-08:00

36 years. that is how long my parents have been married for today. 36 years = 432 months = 1878 weeks = 315569 hours

i wrote a thank you note to my parents a while back, and i think i can remember most of it. so, bear with me, because what better day to tell them thank you than on their anniversary.

to my parents,
thank you for being such wonderful examples for me.
thank you for teaching me how to put a worm on my hook.
thank you for allowing me to bake in your "just cleaned" kitchen.
thank you for teaching me manners & morals.
thank you for letting me get my ears pierced, again, and again, and again.
thank you for taking in a stray dog.
thank you for letting me experiment with my hair. after all, its just hair!
thank you for letting me paint the sky.
thank you for being with me while i gave birth to my daughters.
thank you for loving my daughters even more than you love me.
thank you for being strong parents of a strong soldier.
thank you teaching me how to change the oil in my car.
thank you for taking us camping.
thank you for the many pictures of doyle & i on paul bunyon.
thank you for putting up with hours upon hours of middle school and high school talent shows.
thank you for encouraging me to sing, even when i sounded like a dying cat.
thank you for taking me to get my first tattoo. im sorry that i have gone overboard.
thank you for always putting family first.
thank you for all that you have done for me, i hope that one day i am half the parents that you two are.

and if you are wondering why this blog post is in "coral" its because the traditional gift for the 35 year anniversary is "coral". they don't seem to have one for 36 years, so im just improvising :)

i love you mom & pop!

family first.

2009-01-15T16:01:00.001-08:00

i have totally neglected my blog. there goes my 365. i have had so much on my mind lately... haven't really felt like blogging. right now, my grandpa is in the ICU at our local hospital... he really needs some prayers. my attention has been on him, my granny, my mom and my kiddos. family comes first. i have stayed home from work for a couple of days, so my mom could be at the hospital. in spite of the bad situation, i have taken advantage of being home with the girls... getting to take Aubrey to school, painting with her, trying to teach Ava some new words, dancing with her... and i actually took out the camera to try and get some good pics of Ava... i forgot that trying to capture good images of a 2 year old is like trying to nail jello to the wall.

but, here are the 2 pics that came out ok, i suppose.

please keep my grandpa in your prayers. thank you!

global warming.

2009-01-12T13:51:00.000-08:00

its january 12th. middle of winter. and yet, here in so cal, its 84 degrees. i am sweating. my children have on their summer clothes. i even made juice pops for them to eat because its soooo darn hot. i hate the heat. i loathe the santa ana winds. i've never been a beach kinda gal. i've decided i'm moving.

rock star (in my own car)

2009-01-11T13:25:00.001-08:00

if you ever pull up beside me at a stop light, chances are you will see me and wonder what the heck i am doing. 9 times out of 10, i will be singing "open arms" by journey. i know, corny huh? but i love that song. and i love singing that song. when i leave work, and all the life has been sucked out of me, i get into the car, turn that song on, and sing like i AM steve perry on stage in front of millions (minus the tight jeans & mullet). there is no question that i have always wanted to be a rock star. i have been singing since before i was talking... there was a time when i was kinda known for my singing. but times change, paths change, and now i am content to be a rock star in my own car.

exhaustion.

2009-01-11T06:00:00.001-08:00

i had every intention of making a post last night... and then exhaustion set in. through the week, i have to get up at 4 am, get myself ready and leave the house at 5:15ish to make it to work at 6. i get off at 3, come home and then be "mom" til 8 pm. then i normally get things ready for the next day, and go to bed around 10pm. exhaustion caught up with me last night. i can't really even tell you what time I fell asleep, i think it was close to 7:30. there has never been a time that i haven't put aubrey to bed, but i didn't last night. i was out cold. i felt like i was getting sick. i am still all achy. i feel like i went 3 rounds with randy couture (except my ears aren't all ugly). but i am up. ready to be super hero mom today. groceries have to get bought, household necessities have to be bought, kids have to be fed, bathed, fed, house needs to be cleaned... scratch all of that, maybe i should go back to bed...

two.

2009-01-09T17:03:00.000-08:00

as i hinted earlier, the number two holds some special meaning to me today. today is my baby's 2nd birthday. there is no way that she is two. she was just born. i remember the day she was born so vividly. i was at work (yes, i literally worked up until the moment I had her)... i went to my normal weekly dr's appointments, to which my wonderful doctor told me, "today seems like a good day to have a baby, you are 5 centimeters. go home, get your bag and your husband and get back up here". I was 3 weeks early. so, i called my hubby, who was as shocked as i was, and the race was on. he met me at home, we had to call my dad and tell him to come home from work to watch Aubrey, and my mom met us at the hospital. i checked in at 1:45 pm. at 3 pm, they gave me an epidural (which did not work) and i felt every contraction. at 5pm, i started pushing. at 5:16 Ava Jo was born... i remember every detail of that moment. my doctor was wearing a pink dress shirt and tie (pretty fitting for my baby girl) and the govenator was on TV giving his state of the state address. i was quickly shown ava, and then they rushed her to see the NIC doctors. she had some breathing issues, which i wasn't aware of. my mom stayed with me, and my hubby went with our baby. she is perfectly healthy now. she hasn't stopped making me smile, but she has made my hair turn prematurely gray. she is a dare devil, a mountain goat and evil kenevil rolled into one adorable little girl.

happy birthday to my sweet "baby"

not my fault...

2009-01-09T06:03:00.000-08:00

yes, it looks like i have already failed at my attempts to make a post a day, but.... it wasn't my fault! it was a very busy evening, and when i got home from running all my errands, my husband was uploading about 45 CD's to itunes... and trust me, that took all night. SO, in order to make up for it, there will be 2 count them, one... two.... posts today. the number 2 is pretty important today, but I will let you figure that out with the second post later this evening :)

domestic goddess.

2009-01-07T18:14:00.001-08:00

i am so not a domestic goddess. i can burn water. literally. but in my new found attempt at staying healthy, eating out less and trying to save money, i have been cooking dinner. i had dinner figured out about 8 am. i knew exactly what i was going to do. i love having a plan!!!
around 4:45 (hubby gets off work at 5) i walked over to the freezer, took out the box of van de kamps crunchy fish fillets and gently placed them on my cookie sheet lined with parchment paper (didn't think i was that fancy, did ya?) then on to the pièce de résistance, the mac n cheese. this wasn't any old mac n cheese. oh no, not microwavable. i was busting out the kind you actually make (gasp) on the stove! so, there i was, slaving over a hot stove and oven when i started to smell something a wee bit odd. at first i thought it was Ava... then i thought it was the candle i just lit in the living room. about the time i actually saw the flame, i realized it was the spatula. apparently you shouldn't put your spatula to rest in the flames. oops.
dinner was a success. only one casualty. and believe it or not, i really can cook. even wolfgang puck has his off days!!!

my new moto.

2009-01-06T19:39:00.000-08:00

"nothing tastes as good as thin feels"

i am trying to remember this phrase, esp. when i passed by the bagels and cream cheese, the see's candy, and the holiday treats that were at the office today...

pity party, table for 1.

2009-01-05T20:14:00.001-08:00

ever have one of those days? where no matter what you do, nothing seems right? like the funk you are in is pulling you deeper and deeper into a swamp of murky muck water? yup. me too. and today is one of those days. nothing is going my way. from feeling like the goodyear blimp, to looking like one of the ugly step sisters, to being the moron who forgot to grab the coupons on our way to costco, only to realize when we arrived at costco that i forgot them. yeah, that was my day.
and now, its time for this horrible day to end. im off to bed.

dear metabolism,

2009-01-04T21:12:00.000-08:00

why did you run away from home? i miss you. please come back.

love, me

slightly obsessed.

2009-01-03T11:39:00.000-08:00

when i was searching for books to read before my hand surgery, i was peer pressured into buying twilight. now usually, i am not one to succumb to peer pressure. i was after all, a DARE outstanding student, i learned to JUST SAY NO... but, i was a vampire lover from way back (slightly obsessed with Buffy, so much so that we named our dog Spike)so i gave in. as i laid in bed, i chuckled, wondering what all the hubub was about... after reading it, lemme change that statement to hubba hubba. i am a fan. wait, let me rephrase that. i am more than a fan. i am contemplating changing my last name to Cullen. i am ready to sit in a dark house, on a gloomy day, with my plastic fangs and ride in a shiny volvo. its quite silly actually, a 31 year old obsessed with a 17 year old vampire. but i am. i don't drink (too much) i don't smoke, give me SOME vice! i will have to say that my husband is taking my new found obsession in great stride... he bought me the books, two shirts, and is taking me out for dinner and then to see the movie tonight... i can't wait. im anxiously counting down the hours until i can see edward on the big screen. i bet my husband would draw the line at me sprinkling glitter on him. drats.

a loss for words.

2009-01-02T15:47:00.001-08:00

for those who really know me, you know that you would have a better chance of winning the lottery than me being at a loss for words. but here i sit, day 2 of my 365, without a thing to write about. sure, i have SCADS to say, but really, who wants to hear about my boring day at work, about how chilly it is outside, or the fact that i am once again, watching max & ruby thinking to myself what a brat max is (only parents of cartoon aged children would know about max & ruby). i use to think that i had a way with words... i wanted to grow up and write hallmark cards. i could make people cry with the words that came from my head and my heart. i could make a person who was on the verge of crying, laugh hysterically by my quick wit. but apparently, with the deadline of "a post a day" creeping up on me, i am at a loss. ugh, i hope it gets better on day 3.

my 2009 365.

2009-01-01T13:29:00.000-08:00

well, my attempt at a 365 blog. im gonna try to do a post a day... just tack that on to my already HUGE list of "resolutions". im not giving up the photography side of this blog, gonna keep that too, but my photography is a part of my 365. its a part of my every day life. what is in store for my wild and crazy life? i have no clue, but its gonna be fun to see where this is going...

will i lose this extra 20 lbs? will my hair stay dark brown? what bone will I break next? will i ever find edward cullen? what diabolical stunt will my children pull next???

i guess we will have to wait and see.... grab a soda, er, i mean water (resolution #1, no more soda) and a rice cake (resolution #2 stop eating junk food) and take a trip with me, through my 365.

merry christmas.

2008-12-20T13:54:00.001-08:00

this christmas season, i have truly seen some christmas miracles. as most of you know, i have recently had surgery on my hand, and i was quite worried that i would never be able to pick up a camera again. i'm not gonna lie, it hurts to pick it up, but with therapy, and with time, it should get easier.

my brother made it home from iraq, on r&r, just in time to celebrate christmas with his wife and son. my parents flew back to spend the weekend with him, and if i know my mom, she spent the entire weekend just looking at my brother. please keep the soldiers in your prayers this holiday season. many of them are sleeping on cots, in the middle of the desert this christmas. please remember that and please pray that they all make it home to celebrate another christmas with their loved ones.

the girls are SOOOOOO in the christmas spirit. aubrey is planning on singing at church tomorrow, which should be interesting, and ava can't wait to rip into the presents.

i think the greatest miracle i have seen, is that in spite all the economic woes going on, there is still the spirit of christmas in everyones heart. i can see it on the faces of children and parents alike. i can see it in the gleam of the mall santa's eyes. i can taste it in every batch of fudge that is made. and i can see it in my daughters hearts.

merry christmas everyone. and God bless us all.

we are family.

2008-11-14T21:05:00.001-08:00

and a crazy, fun, lollipop eating, funny face making, laugh out loud family at that.

aubrey is my little comedian. she is always ready to make you laugh with her newest knock knock joke or a funny face. she brings a smile to my face, even when i think there are no smiles left.

ava is my little evil kenevil. she is a dare devil through and through. she is strong willed and what i like to call "an active toddler". her spirit just amazes me.

kenny is my rock, my best friend, and the other one that keeps me in stitches.

we may not be the cleavers, but they were boring!!!

thank you charise, for once again putting up with us and getting some of the best pics ever! you are an amazing friend and a kick butt photographer. love ya!

(909)

2008-11-14T20:50:00.000-08:00

its a funny story how i met my friend. we both were pregnant, with our second babies, and both joined the parents.com trimester boards. i have no idea why i joined those boards, but they brought me to meeting some of the most wonderful people. 1st trimester, 2nd trimester and then 3rd, we learned everything about each other. i couldn't believe there was a bigger disney freak out there than me! because of those crazy little trimester boards, i met someone who will be my friend for life.

california love...

2008-11-14T20:26:00.000-08:00

this post has been a long time coming. blame my new found addiction to facebook!!!

i would say about 99% of the guys that i photograph are nervous about having their pictures taken. the girls, they love it. the boys, eh.... not so much. matt & melissa were no different. she was a natural. she was effortless. she could not take a bad picture. matt was nervous, but as you can see, he lit up and beamed when he was beside melissa. you can actually see the love that he has for her in his face, in his eyes and in his ear to ear smile.

matt & melissa, thank you for allowing me to capture your love. i wish you guys nothing but the best, and have an AWESOME wedding!!!

happy halloween.

2008-10-31T11:03:00.000-07:00

i hope you all have a happy halloween! i tried to take some pictures of the girls and their "punkins" and well, one just loves the camera, and one thinks its the "debil".... see if you can figure out "witch" is "witch"...

pop.

2008-10-29T20:10:00.000-07:00

lemme tell you a little something about my dad. my dad is a pretty awesome dad. sure, growing up there were moments of embarrassment. like riding in the buick, while my dad was singing & doing "the buffalo stance" when he should have been driving... it cracked my friends up, and I rolled my eyes. even though he did the typical embarrassing "dad" stuff, I still knew that my dad was the coolest around. and as cool as a dad as he is, he is an UBER cool papa. i don't know many other papa's who will have a tea party, dress their granddaughters in every princess "costanume" that they own, make tents out of blankets and play "mashed motato head" every time they are asked... but my dad does. my dad lives for it. my dad lights up when my girls bat their big eyes at him and say "papa is my best friend". those girls have him wrapped around their little fingers, and truth be told, he likes it there. i love that my girls have such a special place in their hearts for their papa.

i tell you all of this because today is my pop's birthday. it was a perfect day dedicated to an awesome dad. aubrey colored him a card, and actually wrote her name for the very first time, ALL BY HERSELF on the bottom of the card. and when papa got that card, he was beaming from ear to ear with pride. that is why he is an UBER cool papa.

i thought i would post two of my favorite pics of my pop and the girls. the first pic is the very first time my dad held aubrey. she was 23 days old. the second pic is of him and the baby ava. they had a very similar hair line in that pic, but you can tell which one is ava by her being the 1 year old!!! HA!

i love you pop, and i hope you had an awesome birthday!!

2nd shooting. jess & kelly

2008-10-21T17:03:00.000-07:00

i was able to second shoot with my partner in crime charise once again. this time it was for the amazing couple, jess & kelly. oh my gawsh do these two have a dramatic flair. he rode up on his harley, she looked like a fairytale princess. they are the perfect match.

i tried a little something different this time around. the couples love was so powerful, i wanted to try and make my images a bit more powerful too... i think there is an amazing power in black and white photos.

jess & kelly, i hope you live happily ever after.

a sneak peek. matt & melissa.

2008-10-20T06:56:00.000-07:00

here is a little sneak peek of the e-session i am working on. stay tuned for a MUCH bigger post later this week!

remember. fight back. celebrate.

2008-10-18T09:36:00.000-07:00

those were the words that described the 2008 american cancer society Relay for Life. i can't begin to explain that spirit that was on that field. the sea of purple was overwhelming. everyone who was wearing purple, was a survivor of cancer. we met so many friends. so many amazing people helped out "team gavin" as it was our first time doing this walk.

team gavin raised over $3000 for the american cancer society.

we even had one crazy team member and his two children (who each raised over $100 themselves) stay the entire 24 hours!!!

my legs ached. but it was a good ache. when i would start to complain, one of my "loving" team members would kindly remind me that at least I am aching, there were people there walking going through chemo, there were people there walking with only one leg, and there were people (like our team) who were walking for those who were no longer with us. so, i carried on.

I walked a total of 17.29 miles. They may not seem like a lot, but to me, that wasn't the point. we were there, to celebrate Gavin's short but precious life. we were there to bring awareness to the rare form of cancer that he had. we were there, walking the walk in support of his two wonderful parents and show them that they are not alone. they have us to walk beside them.

team gavin, i am SO proud of you!

there is no finish line, until we find a cure

the amazing group of gals that took "team gavin" under their wings!

a friend, who happens to be a survivor, his mom & his daughters. he was also my gentle reminder to keep going. thanks chris!

my amazing friend kelley, who walked the entire day with me on saturday. over 14 miles on saturday alone!!

gavin's loving parents. i caught this picture of them, as they were walking the track, hand in hand, reading the luminaries. they are two amazing people whom i love dearly.

two of the luminaries that were made in loving memory of gavin. these were lit, right in front of our tent. (yes the picture is very blurry. by the end of the night, my legs were shaking pretty bad)

in loving memory of Gavin Patrick Roark. you will never be forgotten.

what i love about fall.

2008-10-17T20:16:00.000-07:00

basically, it involves everything pumpkin. from pumpkin coffee, to pumpkin candles, pumpkin lotion to pumpkin pie. pumpkin is the best thing ever! so, i was so excited when it was time to take the girls to the pumpkin patch. problem was, both were getting over colds, Aubrey has horrible chapped lips from a fever and Ava had decided to bust her lip wide open the day before. so, when you see her picture and notice she looks like howard the duck, that is the reason...both are still as sweet as pumpkin pie though!!!

2nd shooting: nissa & chris

2008-10-16T19:47:00.000-07:00

so, im a little late with posting these, but as the second shooter, i don't have all the pressure of getting these out :) i once again was lucky enough to be able to second shoot for my yoda, charise. everytime i step out with her, i learn so much!!!

this wedding was for the ultra fab nissa & chris. everything about this wedding was rad. the girls dresses, rad. the purple jessica simpson shoes, ultra rad. the ed hardy shoes the guys wore, totally rad. nissa, your taste rocks.

here are a few of my takes from the wedding. to see the rest of the amazing pics, take a look at charise's blog.

wah.

2008-10-07T16:19:00.000-07:00

i have two sick kiddos at home. enough said.

sneak peek "b" family...

2008-10-06T13:39:00.000-07:00

here is a little sneak peek "b" family...

i got the opportunity to take pics of my friend and his family yesterday. we were very lucky, not a cloud in the sky, after a very rainy and gloomy day before.

stay tuned for a bigger blog post later this week...

its a jungle out there.

2008-09-20T16:38:00.000-07:00

we went to our friends little girls 2nd birthday party last weekend, to a place called "jungleland" which happened to be the perfect place for our wild children. its an indoor playland, with jungle gyms, kitchen sets, bikes, roller coasters, and a giant jumper. they had cuppy cakes and face painting. the kids could be the little monkeys that they are, and us parents actually got to relax a little.... some of us actually started to play with the Thomas the Train playset...

thanks pres's mama & dada for a WILD time :)

the birthday girl

charise's little monkey

my oldest monkey

my youngest monkey

pres in her kitty cat face :)

and see? some of the parents got into it too...

preschool blues...

2008-09-16T20:12:00.001-07:00

i am a little behind in posting this. part of the reason is i don't want to admit that my oldest baby is in preschool. i swear, it was just yesterday that I had her, watched her smile for the first time, take her first wobbly step, sleep in a crib.... and now, she is picking out her own clothes, telling me how to brush her hair, and wanting to walk into her classroom, by herself. i am proud that i raised such an independent kid, but gosh darn it, can't she NEED her mama??? i need her. i wish i could create a "stay young" machine. I would put Aubrey & Ava in it, to keep them my little girls forever.

here is my "little girl" on her first day of preschool....

***warning, CUTE-NESS OVERLOAD***

aubrey, i am so proud of you. i love you with all my "hwart"

you thought you knew...

2008-09-14T21:15:00.000-07:00

i saw this when I was stalking...er... following scarlett lillian's blog. i thought it looked fun, and since i am still proofing pictures, i don't have any to offer up right now. so, here i am...

I AM … klutzy
I WANT… a new lens
I HAVE … a shoe addiction
I KEEP … plucking all the gray hairs out of my head (im soon going to be a bald 31 year old)
I WISH I COULD … be a stay at home mom
I HATE … freddy krueger
I FEAR … leaving my children too soon
I HEAR … my kids laughter... even when its quiet. its "my happy thought"
I DON’T THINK …. there is any problem that a bowl of ice cream and some hershey's syrup can't solve
I REGRET … not going to cosmetology school
I LOVE … my family
I AM NOT … a size 2, nor will EVER be
I DANCE … with my girls
I SING … pretty good actually
I NEVER … say the word "never"
I RARELY … eat healthy
I CRY WHEN I WATCH … everything. honestly, when i watch a disney movie, action movie, tv shows, soap operas heck, even commercials!
I AM NOT ALWAYS … in a happy mood
I HATE THAT … i have to work instead of being a stay at home mom
I’M CONFUSED ABOUT … why our troops are still over seas. please bring them home soon
I NEED … nothing
I SHOULD … be going to sleep soon. 4 am comes awfully early

jimmy hearts melissa

2008-09-13T10:24:00.000-07:00

i was lucky enough to be able to tag along with charise to shoot some engagement pics of a friend of ours. we have known jimmy for quite some time now, and couldn't have asked for a better person than melissa to be in his life. like most boys, jimmy wasn't sure he was up to all the "CHEESE" and smiling pretty for the camera. he quickly learned how much fun charise and I can be when we take pictures together :)

jimmy & melissa, i couldn't be happier for you two... thank you for allowing me to bogart your session!!

7 years ago...

2008-09-11T19:37:00.000-07:00

7 years ago today, all of our lives were affected, whether directly or indirectly. the very core of our country was broken and defeated. but what came from this tragedy, what came from this horrible unfathomable tragedy, was a pride in our country. a pride in our flag. brother helped brother, neighbor helped neighbor, strangers held and cried with strangers.

i sit here, 7 years later thinking about how proud i am that i live in this wonderful country. so proud that my brother is standing up for our rights and our freedom on foreign land. i sit here and look out my kitchen window, and smile, because this is what i see. a blue star flag, hanging so all can see that i have a family member in the military during war time, and the American flag flying, so all can see and remember what they are fighting for.

God bless the USA ,God bless the victims and their families, and God bless our military.

i must help.

2008-09-08T10:27:00.000-07:00

i’ve decided to take action against cancer by participating in the American Cancer Society Relay For Life event. Relay For Life® is about celebration, remembrance, and hope. by participating, i am honoring cancer survivors, paying tribute to the lives we've lost to the disease, and raising money to help fight it.

over the past couple of weeks, i have felt hopeless & helpless while my friends watched their son fight cancer. he fought a brave battle, but the cancer was too much for his sweet little body. i don't like to feel helpless. i have to do something. I MUST HELP!

whatever you can give will help - it all adds up! i greatly appreciate your support and will keep you posted on my progress. even saying a small prayer is a lot of help!

to make a donation online, visit my personal page.

with hope.

2008-09-02T16:44:00.000-07:00

this is hard.

i had hoped, i had prayed that this day would not come.

my friends precious son Gavin passed away last evening after a short but courageous battle with cancer.

i have so many conflicting emotions right now going on inside of me. i am sad. i am angry. i am hollow. i am doubting. i am hopeful.

i am sad because i know the love a parent has for their child. i am sad because i saw the unconditional love that Kelly & Jaimee had for Gavin. I am sad because people that mean so much to me, lost the one person who meant the world to them.

i am angry because God didn't listen to my prayers. i am angry that a innocent child passed away. i am angry because there was nothing i could do to help this situation. i am angry that in this day of modern medicine, medicine failed.

i am hollow because i ache for my friends. i ache for the loss they must be feeling.

i am doubting because i don't understand why God took Gavin. i don't understand why he would allow a hurt like this.

i am hopeful. if you would have asked me "hopeful?" last night, i would have laughed in your face. hope was the last thing in my mind last night when i heard the news. it wasn't until a caring person sent me the lyrics to this song today that the word "hopeful" popped into my head. i am hopeful that one day, all of our loved ones will be together again, in heaven.

With hope....by Steven Curtis Chapman

This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
(There's a place by God's grace)
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free, and ...
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true, so ..
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope

I grieve for you Gavin..... with hope

a family full of all stars...

2008-09-01T11:01:00.000-07:00

chuck taylor all stars that is...

i was trying to find a cool way to describe our family. kind of a different family portrait. i ran across one of the many blogs i stalk...er.... visit and came across this photo: desiree hayes photography i love her work. i adore her work. just another person that i hope i can shoot like when i grow up :) so, here is my try...here are our crazy, dirty, silly shoes. aubrey's are bright pink, kenny's are black, mine are the white ones, and ava's are the light pink ones....

the family that chuck t's together, stays together :)

hair today...

2008-08-27T20:36:00.000-07:00

my daughter was born bald. i mean totally completely free of all peach fuzz on top of her head. i got her ears pierced at 4 months because i was tired of people saying "what a cute little boy you have" even though she would be dressed from head to toe in pink. i don't know when it happened, but she woke up one day and had hair. and i don't mean she had a little bit of fuzz, she now has ringlets. strawberry blonde, beautiful ,curly, ringlets. ringlets so tight that i now own stock in detangler. i love her hair. i know she will hate it, but i love it. and i love that she now has enough to hold barrettes. so, i put my favorite new barrette in her hair, and she sure hammed it up for me :)

three's are the new two's...

2008-08-23T09:08:00.000-07:00

or at least that is what i keep telling myself. we totally skipped the terrible two's with my oldest daughter. she was a perfect angel, til her 3rd birthday. then she grew horns... some say that she is as hard headed as her mother, however i don't believe i am hard headed, I'M NOT I TELL YA! and if i was this "set in my ways" when i was her age, then my mom is even more of a saint than i thought. big a's new favorite book is "are you my mother" .... i secretly think she is hoping the answer to that question is "no".....

but i will take them. terrible 3's and all, i will take them. at the end of the day, its mama she wants to lay down with her, say her night time grace with, and tuck her into bed. i love my little hard headed punkin.

VIVA LAS VEGAS

2008-08-22T10:20:00.000-07:00

what happens when you get a group of moms together, no husbands, no kids, to celebrate a 30th birthday?? vegas happens baby!!! last friday, charise, my s-i-l christy and i surprised our friend tabitha for a weekend trip to vegas for her 30th birthday. her loving husband planned the whole thing, and of course us girls were PUMPED to get out of the house to try and recapture our youth (we later found out that we just aren't as young as we use to be). 5 minutes into our girls trip, we took a wrong turn. half way to vegas, we see a horrible accident. just up the road from that accident, we see a car on fire. we were sure that it was a sign of the apocalypse! the universe was all in a tizzy because we were actually on a girls trip!

we made it, and we painted the town red (or maybe that was just the view through my bloodshot eyes)... i even managed to win some ca$hola (thank you MGM majestic lions)

since i was the nominated purse carrier (everyone threw their stuff in my purse) i didn't take any pictures. but never you fear, charise took SCADS!!! she actually took one of me that i actually like!!! so, take a peek at her pic of me, then hop on over to her blog http://www.photographybychariseblog.com/ to see the shenanigans that went on during our trip....

"VEGAS OR BUST"

sometimes i ask God why?

2008-08-20T09:20:00.000-07:00

there are moments when my faith falters. and its in these moments that i realize i need God more. at the same time i am questioning him as to why he has allowed things to happen, i am falling on my knees praying that he can fix it. and, i believe he can fix it. i believe in the power of prayer. i believe in happy endings. and its because i believe in this, i know that sweet Gavin is going to be ok.

Gavin is a little sweetheart that i had the pleasure of taking his 3 week old pics. his dad and i are really good friends, so good in fact, that i often call Kelly my brother. i never would have expected kelly to be a dad, but to see him with Gavin, a dad is what he was always meant to be.

a couple of weeks ago, Gavin was diagnosed with melanoma on his lungs and his liver. doctors were not sure how to treat this type of cancer in such a young child. melanoma is diagnosed in approximately 55,000 people each year. Of these cases, 400 are in people under 20. children under one year of age account for only .03% of these cases. after much research and talking with other oncologists across the United States, Gavin’s doctor determined chemotherapy would be the best starting point for treatment. on august 13, Gavin had surgery to put an intravenous line into his body which will administer the chemo. august 14 was the starting date for treatment,and this will be given for four consecutive days at a california hospital. Gavin will be given chemotherapy each month for a year following the same pattern.

this poor little precious baby will be in for the fight of his life... and if he is anything like his mom or his dad, he is gonna kick cancers hiney.

if you would please say a prayer for Gavin and his family, i know they would greatly appreciate it, as would i.

there is also a website that is dedicated to Gavin, hop on over and take a peek! http://www.babygavinroark.com/

here are some of the pictures I got to take of Gavin, when he was only 3 weeks old.

happy birthday big brother...

2008-08-19T09:33:00.000-07:00

today is my big brother's 35th birthday. its just a few days after his sons birthday (as you can tell from the previous post). my brother doesn't get to have a fun filled party today. he is stationed in iraq. i can't even call him to wish him a happy birthday. i don't get to sing off key to him. i just have to hope that his birthday package made it to him on time.

my brother and i have always been pretty good friends. now, don't get me wrong, there have been times where i have wanted to strangle him, or throw his GI JOE'S in the trash after he hit the whiffle ball right at my face, but all in all, we have always got along. i always envied my brother. he was the popular guy in school, played every sport imaginable and rocked at every sport, didn't have to wear glasses or braces.... to me, he was everything. he still is everything. he still is someone i look up to. he still is someone i strive to be like daily. he is a strong soldier who keeps me and my family safe at night.

doyle, i hope you have as good a birthday as you can have... we all love you, pray for you every night, and can't wait to see you!!!

happy birthday donavon!!!

2008-08-15T09:03:00.000-07:00

wow, i can't believe 10 years ago my nephew was born. he was born at around 4 lbs. he was a tiny little thing, i like to say he resembled a little spider monkey. but, he was perfect. he was gorgeous. i remember my brother said his hair was "crinkley" when he was born.

i remember his little laugh when he was a toddler. how he would crack up while he "tried" to sneak up on you, except you heard him laugh for 10 minutes before he could manage to say "boo".

i remember teaching him to tie his shoes and him telling me "auntie, you need to have patience"

and now, he is a little man. he is a handsome little man. he is a strong little man. he is the man of the house, while his father is in Iraq.

donavon, we love you! hope you have a wonderful birthday!

are my eyes playing tricks on me??

2008-08-14T06:22:00.001-07:00

or did I just see that gas was UNDER $4???

bff's

2008-08-10T19:36:00.000-07:00

today is one of my bff's 30th birthday. she is finally joining our senior citizen club :)

rabbit, i remember the first day i met you. and i can remember what i told mike too. im glad he listened to me :) you are one of my best friends and my life would be so dull without you in it.

here are a few pics of "the tricycle" that we are.... charise, tabitha, and myself.

happy birthday crazy!!!

dear diet,

2008-07-30T16:45:00.001-07:00

oh how i hate you.

sincerely,
me

happy birthday old man...

2008-07-25T16:08:00.000-07:00

today is my hubbys 35th birthday. can't believe he robbed the cradle right? ha! well, according to his Wii fit age, he is only 22.... so we will celebrate that too!

kenneth, happy birthday. you are such an amazing husband, friend, dada, flashlight fixer, cocoa getter, ice cream dipper, princess player, car washer, knee-slapping laugher, all and all person. your daughters and i can't wait to celebrate more years with you. we love you with "all our HWARTS"

blue moon....

2008-07-11T20:12:00.000-07:00

i think my daughter must be afraid of my camera. she sits and looks so cute, until i take that lens cap off and then she is GONE.... i have so many pictures of her back, of the side of her head, of her eyes closed, or her silly face... but once in a blue moon, i get this:

mama's little sparklers....

2008-07-04T07:06:00.000-07:00

happy 4th of july everyone! stay safe....

for phil...

2008-06-28T20:06:00.000-07:00

when i see a hawaiian shirt, i will think of you...
when i smell a cigar, i will think of you...
when i hear aaron neville or rod stewart sing, i will think of you...
when i hear about a golf game, i will think of you...
when i make coffee at work, i will think of you...
when i go into work on tuesday morning, and you aren't there, i will think of you...

i will miss you.

what i love about a Sunday....

2008-06-22T07:21:00.000-07:00

i got up this morning, getting all settled in to start my Sunday routine. get the girls up, get their juice made, hot coffee in my hand and the lap top slowly making its way to the target ad.... i happened to glance over to my yahoo IM and saw something that made my day. my brother was online!! my brother, who is in Iraq, was online. i all but spilled my coffee trying to run to the phone to call my mom to tell her, then called my sister in law to tell her.... you see, we just can't call him and check on him... so this internet "connection" is truly our only "connection" to him. it connects this crazy family even though one of us is halfway around the world....i don't know what we ever did without the internet...

DJ, i love you. be safe. be strong. and i always have my computer on....

cool.....

2008-06-15T14:04:00.000-07:00

that one word sums up my dad....

my dad is such an amazing father. he always supports me 110% and believes that if i SAY i can move a mountain, then he will do all within his power to help me. he taught me to always believe in myself, believe in my family and believe in God, and everything else will fall into place.

the most special memory to me of my dad is when i was in labor with my oldest daughter. i think my dad was in more pain than i was. i was told that he was literally about to pass out until he heard the news that aubrey was born and that i was ok.

my dad is an amazing papa. if you ask aubrey who her best friend is, she will tell you without a doubt its her "papa". her papa colors with her, puts puzzles together, digs with her.... he sings to Ava, gets them dressed in some clothes that in SOME country must match, and is SO proud that he gets to "babysit".

I am SO blessed to have a "cool" dad....

here is my dad, my brother and my nephew...

my girls and their "papa" as you can see, he thinks they are pretty special.

happy fathers day to all the fathers out there!!!

until you come home...

2008-06-12T21:11:00.000-07:00

"Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need. Amen."

dj... tonight during aubreys prayers, she asked God, "please keep unkie doyle safe". she is a pretty smart 3 year old. she helped me tie this ribbon around the tree out in front of our house. remember this tree use to be 2nd base in our front yard baseball games? this ribbon will be tied around this tree until you come home. you are my hero, no matter what you say, you are a hero to me and a lot of other people. i love you big brother. be safe.

my birthday wish...

2008-06-11T16:54:00.000-07:00

as i closed my eyes to blow out the candles, one thing came to mind.

peace.

i wished for peace.

June 7, 1977

2008-06-07T07:25:00.000-07:00

happy birthday to me....
happy birthday toooo meeee....
happy birthday dear cheyenne.....
happy birthday tooooo meeeeeeee!!!!!

today, i am (cough cough)31 years old. now, that was a hard pill to swallow until my friends and i discussed last night that 30 is the new 18 :) and after a poll of random people throughout fridays and the movie theater, i actually only look 26 or 27.... so perhaps being (gasp)31 isn't going to be so bad!!!

fudge...

2008-06-05T21:19:00.000-07:00

those who know me, know I make a killer batch of fudge. in fact, i am known for it... people can't wait for Christmas time because that is when i start making my famous fudge. ( i swear there is a reason i am talking about fudge and here it is) i think one of my favorite quotes is "families are a lot like fudge; mostly sweet with a few nuts." i love my crazy family, i am the luckiest girl to get STUCK with such an awesome family.

since this is the start of my fun filled birthday weekend, i thought i would post some of my family pics... my brother told me i couldn't post any, but its my birthday, he can't get mad at me :)

love me tender....

2008-06-01T05:00:00.000-07:00

love me tender

love me sweet

never let me go.

you have made

my life complete

and i love you so...

those were the words that were sung as i walked up the aisle 6 years ago today to marry kenneth. i can remember seeing him sway back and forth while i was walking up and i prayed that he wasn't gonna faint. he didn't. we had an awesome wedding and we have had an amazing 6 years. life has changed in these 6 years. some gray hair has sprouted on my head, some more has fallen out of kennys, we brought 2 beautiful girls into this world and through it all, kenneth has remained my best friend. how i got so lucky to marry my perfect match, i will never know. but i thank God that i did.

love me tender

love me true

all my dreams fulfilled.

for my darlin

i love you

and i always will.

here are to many more happy years kenneth....

with this ring....

2008-05-30T15:25:00.000-07:00

we got wed! well, not really this ring, since this is my 3rd wedding set in 6 years, but the meaning is still the same. almost 6 years ago, kenneth and i got married. since i have been the second shooter for charise on a couple of weddings, i have come to realize that our wedding pictures weren't that good. they didn't capture "us". we have the same old, same old ring shot. hands on top of each other, on top of the bouquet shot. that's just not funky enough for us. ring shots are a big part of wedding photography as i have come to find out. the more inventive, the better.... so, 6 years later, i decided to take some ring shots... btw, where was charise when i was getting married 6 years ago, why didn't i hire her? .... she was too busy being my maid of honor :)

hurricane...

2008-05-27T21:49:00.000-07:00

that is my grandpa's nickname for my 3 year old, and boy does that name fit her! she can, within a matter of minutes, completely destroy a room and smile while she leaves a path of destruction behind her. she is unpredictable and always keeps me on my toes. even though she is a "hurricane" her love, her spirit and her wisdom beyond her 3 years blows me away. this picture was taken on our way home from our texas trip, at a KOA campground.... i think it totally captures the spirit of my lil' hurricane.

memorial day...

2008-05-26T11:26:00.000-07:00

it seems fitting that we returned from visiting my brother and his family on memorial day. the reason we went to texas was to visit with my brother before he shipped out for his second tour in iraq. of course, our trip was too short. i wish i could have stayed there longer. i wanted to get in at least a years worth of jabs at my brother, since he will be gone for a year. i love my brother. i was trying to explain to my 3 year old what her unkie does, and the best way i could explain it to her was "your unkie is a soldier. he is a brave, strong soldier who protects us. he is a hero." and with that, she proudly put her ARMY shirt on...

sorry DJ, you told me not to post any pics, but this one is just too funny :) i love you.

happy memorial day to all...

yehaw yippeeio, texas here we come!

2008-05-17T06:01:00.000-07:00

well folks (all 2 of you that read this blog) I am off... we are heading out in the motorhome today (or for those that saw the movie "RV", we have now renamed my folks motorhome to "the big rolling turd") we are heading to visit my brother and his family in ft. hood, texas. after convincing my daughter that there aren't camels in texas, she is very eager to go now. i am looking forward to visiting, relaxing, resting, oh and you know i am taking my camera along too so i am totally looking forward to some new scenery!!!

so in the immortal words of tyrone the backyardigans "yehaw yippeeio, texas here we come!!!"

and just because I didn't want to leave y'all without a picture, here is a random one from my life...

m&m=yummy

2008-05-15T21:30:00.001-07:00

i once again got to tag along with my yoda... we started off the shoot at canoga camera where i proceeded to dream of upgrading my camera and all the new lenses i could buy IF i won the lottery... we were met there by an amazing couple, megan & mike. the are the perfect m&m... her silliness is perfectly balanced by his seriousness.... her laughter is balanced by his soothing music. they are the perfect ying and yang, the perfect candy coated chocolate :) we managed to stay in the alley behind canoga camera and found perfect little spots for this perfect little couple....m&m, thank you for a delish photo shoot!!!

and biting an image from the dynamic duo of "the image is found"

my best friend...

2008-05-10T22:46:00.001-07:00

i have a best friend. she is the rock that i lean on, the shoulder i cry on, the light that leads me home, the gleam in my smile, the laughter in my life.... she is my mom. i strive every day to be half the mother that she is. i pray with every breath i take that my girls will love me as much as i love my mom. i am the reason i am who i am because she was strong enough to be the person that she is. i love you mom, i might not say it as often as i should, but i love you and i thank you for being the mom that you are.

happy mothers day

great grandma's hands

2008-05-10T07:47:00.000-07:00

i took this photo when my daughter was about 2 months old... my grandma is holding her hand. i have always loved the way my grandma's hands look (she will say she hates them) they have always been manicured, smooth, dripping with diamonds and other jewels, delicate and petite, just like her. this picture is so special to me, it shows the love between a great grand-daughter and her great grandma. to me, this picture will always be one of my most prized possessions. i love you granny, happy mothers day!!!

a "little window" into my soul...

2008-05-09T19:35:00.000-07:00

i came home from work today tired and snarky... i was pleasantly surprised to find a special package waiting for me on my door step!

lets rewind a couple of days ago: on monday, i placed an order for a photo necklace with little windows photo jewelry. i have been looking at these necklaces since christmas, and i finally had a picture i could use. as soon as i placed this order, my internet died. i knew i would be getting an email from little windows explaining how i was to send them my picture for my personalized necklace. i was in a panic. on wednesday, fran from little windows called me. what a sweetheart she is! she wanted to make sure that if i wanted this necklace by mothers day, i would need to answer my email quickly, since mothers day was this coming sunday. i explained to her my internet dilemma and boy did she feel my pain! i also told her i was in no hurry for the necklace, it was a present to myself and there was no rush on it. i was just happy i finally ordered one! again, she was such a sweetheart!!

wednesday night i was able to log onto my email using my parents computer and was able to send my picture to fran.

fast forward to today: i could not possibly believe that the necklace i just finalized on wednesday night was already here! i ripped the envelope open like a 5 year old at christmas, so anxious to see my new present!!! i have never EVER been more happy with a product. i am totally in love with little windows!!! in fact, now i know what every one i know is getting for christmas this year!!!

fran, you ROCK! this necklace took my breath away!! i am so excited to wear it every single day and i can't wait to order more items from you... i am afraid you have a stalker now!!!

& look how cute the box it comes in is!!!

and here is my BEAUTIFUL necklace.... i can't wait to wear it! this picture doesn't do it justice... thank you again fran!!!

http://www.little-windows.com/

woe is me....

2008-05-07T06:58:00.000-07:00

i have two little girls that are sick with colds...
i have been getting nothing but snot laced kisses for two days now...
mama woke up with a WICKED cold this morning....
our computer died on monday....
i have been without the internet for 2 whole days now....
my sweet sweet husband was on the phone with tech support for 4 hours last night with no happy ending, he came to bed defeated....
i had to drag my sorry behind to work today, sicker than a dog, so i could get my internet fix...

calgon, take me away!!!!

SUPER AUBREY!!!

2008-05-03T20:10:00.000-07:00

when my daughter isn't a princess, she is a super hero... and everything can be turned into a cape. her sissy's receiving blankie, an apron, or in this case, a beach towel. no matter where you go, super aubrey is always there, ready to jump into her phone booth, attach that super hero cape and save the world...

oops, maybe next time she should remember her panties!!

mick jagger, eat your heart out....

2008-04-29T16:49:00.000-07:00

how are these for the prettiest, juiciest, plumpest, most kissable lips you have ever seen????

oh yeah, and she is my daughter so she MUST take after her mama!

back to the beach...

2008-04-28T16:52:00.000-07:00

that's right gidget, we went back to the beach this weekend. well, not to the actual ocean, to the car show that is. back to the beach was a show full of hot rods, motorcycles, vendors, and a "sea" of black hair, vibrant tattoos, frilly dresses, and all the stuff my husband and i love...

in the middle of this show, we found our friend jerry had his car entered. jerry is the owner of JER-K DESIGNS.... he is amazing. he is a fabricator, painter, pinstriper, basically if you envision it, jerry can do it....

here are a few shots of jerry's car

my husband and the infamous "jer-k"

and the picture that just encompasses the "feel" of the entire event....

hey cinderella....

2008-04-26T07:26:00.000-07:00

my daughter is obsessed with being a princess. she believes she is one, and lets be honest here.... she is. every morning she gets up, puts on her princess skirt, her "jewelries" and her crown. i think shes got the right idea, we should all start the day off wearing our crowns! yesterday she wanted the whole kit and kaboodle, the dress, the jewels, the glass slippers, the crown and her favorite cinderella doll. i hope she never forgets that she is a princess, always dreams big, and lives happily ever after....

the week according to pinkfeet...

2008-04-22T19:56:00.000-07:00

there is a new section on the left hand side of the blog.... the week according to pinkfeet!!!

this is where i am going to post the many places my pinkfeet take me. this week starts the first week. we enjoyed a wonderful bbq where my daughter and her best friend created some sidewalk art that would put picaso to shame!

stay tuned for next week (i know i know, you are just sitting on the edge of your seat in anticipation)

chopped liver???

2008-04-22T19:43:00.000-07:00

soon we will be heading off to visit my brother at Ft. Hood in Texas.... my parents, my girls, hubby and i will be loading up in the motorhome (yes, the movie RV comes to mind) and making the trek...

when we were discussing what we wanted to do when we got there, i told my husband that more than anything, i wanted to capture a family portrait. who knows when we will all be in the same location again, and Texas has some beautiful scenery!

now my husband turns to me, and asks with such sincerity,

"hmmmm, so we are gonna hire a professional photographer??"

bless his cute little heart.... but what am i???? chopped liver?????

don't look ethel....

2008-04-13T08:25:00.000-07:00

but apparently i am ALL over the world of blogs :)

first off, i am on the amazing and talented melissa dawn photography's blog as her stalker... that's right, i stalk missy. her blog cracks me up, she is adorable, and let me not forget to mention that she is an amazing photographer!

http://melissadawnphotography.blogspot.com/

next is my new friend heather from umami photography. she is the beautiful girl in the "warm california sun" post. she took some amazing pictures, just had a poor model to work with....

http://umamiphotography.blogspot.com/

thank you both for the "blog love" i hope i don't run business away from you!!!

and since i don't like to post without adding a picture, here is a random photo from my life... we are having a heatwave in so cal right now, so we busted out our pool.... aubrey was modeling her new "lucky cap" and i think it suits her perfectly.....

in that warm california sun....

2008-04-10T23:51:00.001-07:00

that's right... we were out there having fun, in that warm california sun!!! my yoda charise (of photography by charise) and i met up with her friend heather (whom i would like to be able to call my friend now too), the amazing photographer behind umami photography, for some fun SUN shots... just us girls, talking girl talk, enjoying the sun, oh wait... and taking some pics!!! heather was a GREAT model... while charise tried to teach me a bit about her love, SUN FLARE....

and how tickled PINK am i to finally find someone who watches MEN IN TREES!!!!!!

and did i mention that we shared a lot of laughs?

thanks a bunch girls.... we have to do this again soon!!! what are you doing NEXT thursday? hee hee

sneak peek.... baby "g"

2008-04-07T22:17:00.000-07:00

i had a wonderful session with my dear friends and their newest addition, baby "g"... he is the cutest little thing EVER!!! even his little cries were adorable.

here is a sneak peek.... more to come!!!

brother, i will take pics of your son anytime you ask me too!!!

pump...

2008-04-02T19:23:00.000-07:00

remember the days of playing on your swingset from sun up until sun down??? when it just wasn't a good day until you had blisters on your hands from the monkey bars, or a nice 1st degree burn on your hiney and your legs from sliding down the scorching hot metal slide? well, now my girls get to experience this joy... except for the 1st degree burns part (their slide is plastic, technology is amazing ain't it?) the sparkle that was in my daughters eyes when she saw a "playground" being built in her backyard was that of pure joy. it was the same look that i had in my eyes when i was her age....and the same sparkle i had in my eyes when i tried to teach her how to "pump".

when mama is sick....

2008-04-01T20:56:00.001-07:00

and she stays home from work, that means her little munchkins turn into models....

i have been sick with a fever, body aches, all that jazz since saturday... i tried to go into work today, but apparently, according to my loving co-workers, i looked as awful as i felt... so, back home and into my pj's i went. and since i stayed in my jammies all day, i decided the girls could have a "pj" day too... i had a few little spurts of energy, to which i took full advantage of. i mean, when you have babies THIS cute, its hard to stay on the couch and rest!!!

little slugger...

2008-03-24T20:29:00.000-07:00

have you ever just felt the love when you enter someone's home?? felt how its actually a "home" and not a "house"?? that is how it is in my friends home. she invited me into her "home" to take some pictures of her beloved little slugger... he is the apple of her eye... you can not only see, but you can feel how deep she loves this little man.

"c" your auntie loves you...

My Easter Ham...

2008-03-23T20:20:00.000-07:00

Hoppy Easter everyone!!! I have NO idea where my daughter gets this from.... but she decided to take the microphone over at Church this morning... and well, this is what happened.

its the little moments....

2008-03-22T23:18:00.000-07:00

that i want to capture... that i want to remember for the rest of my life. my oldest daughter is growing up so quickly that i have trouble even remembering what it was like to hold her as a baby... and in these little moments, moments of peace, moments of silence, moments that i can look at her and see the sweet baby i brought home, these are the moments i live for....