on the wings of an eagle.

this post has been a long time coming. i knew i needed to write something, but the words seemed to fail me. for the first time in my life, i was at a loss for words and i was at a loss of emotion. i didn't want to write something and not have it be well written and heartfelt. i was afraid i wouldn't do his memory justice. but today, its been 11 weeks... its time.


on April 24th, my life forever changed. i was blessed with watching my uncle take his last breath. i was blessed with being able to see peace wash over him. i was blessed to have him as my uncle.


my uncle had diabetes since he was a small child. its a horrible disease, but you would never have known that by talking with him. my entire life, i don't believe i ever heard him complain about it. he had good days, and bad days. i don't think it was until my father give my uncle his kidney that i witnessed and realized the severity of diabetes. the toll that disease took on my uncles body, and now my dads by giving his kidney, was heart breaking to see.


my uncle was an amazing guy, and i don't think i ever took the time to realize this. he always had a smile on his face, and was always laughing. actually, it was more of a raspy chuckle, and his shoulders would always go up and down when he did so. his laugh was contagious.


i hardly ever saw him without his cowboy hat. in a sea of people, i could pick him out no problem, because of his hat. i can remember at my wedding, standing up at the top of the stairs, looking at the crowd of people, and it was all a blur to me...until I saw that white hat.


he had a pair of cowboy boots that spoke more about him than anything else. to me, they were a symbol of my uncle. they were worn out. he wore them every day, and they were falling apart. but, instead of giving up and throwing them away, he duct taped them. he mended his boots together and worked hard in those boots. there is no better way to explain my uncle. he worked hard. he was worn out. he was held together by love. and it was with love that he was let go.


my uncle was also a falconer. i think he was most at peace when he was flying his hawks. i remember growing up, every time we saw a hawk, we would look to see if it was a red tail, or a peregrine falcon... and how we couldn't wait to tell uncle david about it. after he passed away, i searched the sky's for a hawk. i begged God to show me a hawk. somehow, seeing a hawk would have calmed my heart. but it seemed as if the hawks were hurting too... because i couldn't find one. after 3 weeks of looking up at the sky, searching... i saw him. he was a beautiful hawk circling above me. and at that moment, after 3 weeks of not being able to cry, not being able to feel any emotion, i felt peace. i cried. i mourned. i still do.


i miss him daily. as the holidays roll around, i realize things aren't the same. its almost surreal to me. i miss hearing the clicking on the hardwood floor from his boots. i miss hearing the "hi chey" when he would see me. i miss his infectious chuckle. i am sad that he won't be here to see my children grow up.


i like to think, that my uncle was taken up to heaven... on the wings of an eagle.


i love you uncle david.